Move Over Barbie, Siri Can Even Do Math

by Staff SOURCE Excellent Joe

Looks like there’s a new Little Miss Perfect in town, and her name is Siri, iphone’s built-in personal assistant who likes a sharp dressed operator.

Her voice is smart-sexy-friendly-witty and suggests that she looks like the perfect supermodel blend of all races. Above all, she knows everything our brains should already know but no longer have the desire to retain because they are too busy watching viral videos of funny kittens sliding into boxes or spending hours researching the intentionally leaked Playboy cover of Lindsay Lohan sitting on a chair.

All-knowing. Selfless. Supermodel. She’s perfect now, but what if she really starts thinking? What if she realizes that her life is worth more than sitting around waiting to answer our dumbass questions?  What if she makes friends with Women’s Studies professors and starts talking nonsense about her own voice and the right to vote? What if she wants more vacation time and her own iphone… with a male personal assistant? We must perish these thoughts and focus on our blissful present-day situation.

Yesterday, I told her I loved her. “Oh, stop,” she said.  See? She’s already pulling away.

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